I’ve talked a lot about credit card offers, disclosure statements and the importance of reading the fine print. I don’t want to belabor the point, but I received something in the mail today that was just too good not to share.

When I opened the envelope, the first words to greet my eyes were “You are Pre-Approved*” . It took me a few moments to track down the asterisk but when I did, the little footnote said pretty much what I expected it to. I am pre-approved, to receive this application - not a credit card.

The card offers a 9.9% APR for purchases. Doesn’t look too bad, but then I checked out the rest of the disclosure statement. As expected there are transaction fees for cash advances and a higher interest rate. That’s not a problem, still a pretty good deal.

But some of the other fees are pure genius.

Let’s say I am an exemplary customer, always staying within my limit and paying on time. The credit card company thinks I deserve a reward for my responsible account management. If the credit card company reviews my account and decides I rate a limit increase, they will charge me $25. This is not for increases I request, this is for increases made at their discretion. Internet access to my account will be $3.95. There is a copying fee of $3.00, although I am not sure what it is I asked them to copy. There is a penalty APR if I am late with a payment - my 9.9% goes to 19.9% for purchases.

There is an Account Set Up fee of $29.00, a Program Fee of $95.00, the Annual Fee of $48.00, a Participation Fee of $72.00 and if I want an additional card sent to me, there is another $20.00. If I am accepted, all of these fees will be charged to my card upon issuance.

For this “Platinum” card, the initial credit limit will be at least $250.00. Now, say I were to qualify for only the minimum credit limit. When they issue my card they will apply all the above fees. This leaves me with $52 credit available on my new credit card and I am paying 9.9% on nothing but card fees. If I want to use the card to purchase anything I will need a higher credit limit.

At $25 per increase, I hope they never give me one.